She sat in front of me relaxed, yet rigid, like my pup when he lays on his back, and I bend down to scratch his belly. His legs tighten up and his eyes widen-scared that I might scoop him up and cart him off to the vet.
Her eyes were a mixture of knowledge, focus and awareness with the faintest hint of betrayal swirling 'round the edges. "Don't worry," said her mouth. "I'm sorry," whispered her eyes. Then, a split second of consciousness, and her revealing deception was buried. As a wave covers footprints in the sand, a blink covered the truth. Her masked facade spread quickly, poorly. Like spreading jam over burnt toast, she tried hard to cover the reality of life, but her soothing remarks left a dark, bitter taste covering the entirety of my mouth.
I somehow managed to swallow the lies being fed, and remained a polite recipient, never pointing out the obvious fabrication served to me in the form of assurances and pacifiers.
She believes that she has placated me and my worrisome questions, but she has not. She has driven a knife into my heart covered carefully, thoroughly with sugar and honey.
Can you feel your heart rip? A small tear at first, but know that it can't be repaired.
Can you shed a tear for the future and the past all at once?
Can I?
Can I change decisions that aren't mine?
Can I love enough to change their minds?
Oh, please. . .Can I?
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